This is a post for the grandparents. It may be for you too, if you’re looking for some reading that is not edgy, depressing, or political. This is just a silly story about my kids, and there will probably be several pictures of them as well.
A couple weeks ago we started misplacing our toothpaste. Only we weren’t misplacing it. Trixie was taking it, hiding it in her bed, and then sneaking up to her room to “taste it.” This is not even the kids’ toothpaste she’s eating, it’s the full strength grown-up stuff. Ew. Why are kids so gross?
We first realized this was happening when Alex caught her red-handed. He told her she shouldn’t be eating toothpaste, it could make her sick, etc, then put the toothpaste back where it belongs in the bathroom. A few days later the toothpaste went missing again. After getting peeved with Alex for not putting it back in the correct spot, and then not finding it in any of the incorrect spots, I went into Trixie’s room and there it was, under the covers, shoved to the foot of the bed. When asked about it she admitted to putting in there and added, a little too quickly, that she didn’t taste any. Sure. Another gentle reminder administered that she shouldn’t be eating toothpaste, and the contraband went back in the bathroom.
The toothpaste was discovered a couple more times in Trixie’s bed last week. Then Joey’s toothpaste went missing. (Yes, we have three different kinds of toothpaste in our bathroom, grown-up, kid, and baby.) After the baby toothpaste went missing, the charcoal toothpaste disappeared too. (I forgot about the charcoal toothpaste. That makes four kinds of toothpaste.) I thought the draw for her in all of this was the mint flavor. She’s been a big fan of all things minty ever since first sneaking Altoids out of my purse at the tender age two. But I guess she is also a big fan of all things toothpaste. When I raised the question “where is the toothpaste” and she immediately chirped “not under my bed” I went straight to her room. Only, neither of the toothpastes were there, and I looked pretty thoroughly. Maybe she’s telling the truth, I thought.
Maybe, but she sure looks like she’s lying. Mother’s know these things. (Which makes me blush to think how many times my mom knew I was lying/faking it/or being otherwise sneaky when I thought I was playing it so cool.) So I asked again, trying to not sound mad, promising that if she told the truth she would not get in trouble. Two minutes later she emerged from her room, holding the toothpastes above her head and proclaiming “It was under my bed the whole time!”
At some point you give up on trying to teach a lesson and just put the toothpaste out of reach in a basket of hair care products that does not have room for four tubes of toothpastes, and is much too far away from the sink. It’s not perfect, but at least we always knows where our toothpaste is.
This post has been very Trixie-centric. The boys will get more attention in the future, but for now a short update will have to suffice.
Johnny goes back and forth between being ridiculously terrible and ridiculously sweet. One moment he is snatching toys out of his baby brother’s hands, just to make him scream (which he does with healthy vigor) and the next he is spontaneously offering up prayers for corona virus victims. Maybe it’s the age? Their capacity for good increases but so does their capacity for evil?
Joey is talking up a storm. He can name all the Pawl Patrol Pups, and call also say “Rider needs us! To the look out!” and “Rubble on the double.” We are very proud. Also, very sick of Pawl Patrol. Another favorite of his is to tell us what he’s eating, followed by a chomping sound. “I eat rice. Chomp! I eat apple. Chomp! I eat yogurt Chomp! I eat Johnny. Chomp! (He really likes to eat family members.)
That’s all for now. Until next time, stay safe and stay healthy!
