I’ll be honest with you, in the constant chaos of caring for three small children, most days I don’t think about our first baby. The one we lost to miscarriage. The one that would have turned seven this month if she had lived. The pain of losing that baby was greatly healed by the birth of my first living child, and has continued to heal with the births of my other children. But just because I have three living children to fill my heart and arms and hours doesn’t mean I still don’t feel any grief over the baby we lost.
There is still grief. Usually it sits quietly in a back corner of my heart, but there are certain things that stir it up. Dates on the Calendar, May 7th, the day I miscarried. November 26th, the day that would have been my due date. There are certain images that make that grief fresh again. Seeing other seven-year-olds and thinking, “that’s how old my first baby would be.” Seeing my subsequent positive pregnancy tests and praying, “please God, let this one live.”
Nothing brings that grief up to the surface faster than finding out someone dear to me has also had a miscarriage. I know exactly what they are going through and exactly how they are feeling. That may sound like a bad thing, but it’s not. Being able to grieve with loved ones who have suffered a miscarriage has been the most beautiful fruit to come out of our own loss.
So when Laura Fanucci asked over a year ago if Alex and I would share our miscarriage story in a book she and her husband Franco were working on, I was so excited and honored to say yes. And now, the book is here! Grieving Together, A Couple’s Journey through Miscarriage.
This a book I wish I had had seven years ago. It shares the stories of several couples’ miscarriages, (including fathers’ perspectives!) provides Church teaching about miscarriage and infant loss, and is full of relevant scripture passages and prayers. It’s like having a bunch friends come around you saying, “I know what you’re going through. I’ve been here too.” It’s place to find healing.
Excerpts from the book can be found in this free e-book put out by Our Sunday Visitor. And Laura and Franco did a free webcast to share more about their story, the book, and how we can all support couples who are grieving. You can watch it here.
To be entered in a drawing to win your own copy of Grieving Together, simply fill out the form bellow and click submit. I’ll pick a winner on Saturday December 1.
privacy: I won’t share your email address with anyone. I promise.
disclaimer: Amazon links are affiliate. That means if you make a purchase after following the link I get a small percentage of the sale at no additional cost to you!