oh this life

My clothes were clean when I put them on this morning. Now they have streaks of  Trixie's snot all over them. On the shoulder, the hip, the knee. I wish I could say that it was food.

Nope.

It's snot.

Child snot.

Once she realized rubbing her nose on me yielded a result it became a game. Clearly she was winning.

I could go and change my clothes, but I don't think I will.

It's been one of those weeks. The kind where all the toys end up in the bathroom. I get out of the shower and step on Buzz Light year. I go to the bathroom in the middle of the night and kick a Matchbox car across the floor. At the end of the day I put all the toys back in their respective places, only to have them end up there again the next day. How does this happen?

I reached for my make up remover the other night because I thought I wasn't getting all of my mascara off. Nope. Just dark circles. Both kids have been sick and waking up more than usual during the night, and I'm tired. When I wake up in the morning I feel like I could have easily slept for six more hours.

It snowed this morning. Wonderful. I put the winter jackets and boots away 2 weeks ago.

Johnny has not been napping this week. He does alright at school, but turns into a pumpkin come dinner time. Literally everything makes him cry. He wants ketchup with his quesadillas, he wants an extra gummy vitamin, he doesn't want to sit in that chair, he wants to sit in this chair, he wants to watch Toy Story, he doesn't want to sit on the potty chair. And every time he starts crying Trixie starts crying because she is very sensitive to her brother's feelings. So we've been having lovely dinners, shouting to each other about our days over the din of crying children.

Oh this life. If I have any readers who don't have kids they're probably thinking, "why on earth would I ever want that? It sounds like a whole lot of yelling and counting the minutes until bedtime and then picking other peoples' boogers off your clothes."

But thankfully there's more to it than what I complain about.

Like when bedtime does finally come. Trixie falls asleep nursing with her warm little hand up the sleeve of my sweater. As I carry her across the room to her crib I look down and there in my arms is an entire human being, who depends on me for everything. Please God, don't let me fail her. 

Then I go to Johnny's room. He's already in bed but not yet asleep. I crawl under his covers and share his pillow with him. He pushes a couple trains across the surface of the mattress and lets me plant kisses on his forehead. I look into his eyes and I see the grace of God.

Parenting is hard, but there is so much grace to be found in it as well. Grace in loving my children more than I love myself. Grace in this tiny glimpse into the heart of God and seeing how great His love for His own children must be. Grace in knowing that even though I may fail today, I will have the chance to be a better mother tomorrow.

Oh this life. Full of weird, snot-covered graces, breaking my heart, melting away my selfishness, filling me with a desire to be better. Please God, let me be better, for them. 

7 quick takes vol: 33

linking up with kelly for some very quick quick takes. 

//1//

We had a really beautiful Easter. Alex and I were able to sing with our church's choir for the Triduum. Those three days are the most beautiful liturgies and I was so grateful to be able to go - without my kids - much less sing  with the choir. I look forward to taking the little nippers to the Triduum when they are older, but for now it works well for them to be at home, with the babysitter, sleeping in their beds. 

But they sure did look cute in their Easter outfits the next morning! I was telling Alex that it is so much easier to love our kids when they look really cute. 

Of course I was joking.

Mostly.

Also, why did none of the four adults helping to capture a family photo notice that Alex had his sweatshirt on?!?!  

//2//

I had a lot of fun with Easter baskets this year, now that our kids are old enough to understand what to do with them. We did Easter baskets and an egg hunt for them, and had a good laugh "hiding" eggs around the house. Even with the obvious spots we still had to point a few out. 

I used Haley's book recommendations for some of their Easter basket gifts. They also each got a Sarah's Silk, something I have been eyeing for a while. Trixie got some baby dolls. These were her first dolls and she was really excited about them. 

//3//

Alex just finished his ER rotation. Schedule wise it was actually pretty good! I'm really thankful because ER could have been any time of the day or night.

Up until this rotation Alex has only been in clinical settings so the dress code has been business attire. ER was the first rotation he's had where he wore scrubs every day. I did not realize how much his work clothes contribute to our laundry until I was no longer washing them. It was great! But now he'll be back to business attire on Monday. Just about every shirt he owns needs to be ironed so that's what I'll be doing Sunday night.

And in case your wondering, Alex is very capable about ironing his own clothes, but I get a little type A about the way things are ironed and would just prefer to do it myself.

//4//

Johnny is having problems with fluid retention in his ears again. He can't hear out of his left ear at all (even with hearing aids) and it seems like his right ear might be starting to get bad again. We've got surgery for new ear tubes scheduled for May 11, so we're really hoping it doesn't get much worse between now and then.

In the mean time, if it sounds like I'm shouting all the time I'm really just speaking very loudly for the benefit of my hearing impaired child.

//5//

Good news! Good news! Good news! The 2017-2018 Blessed is She Liturgical Planner is available for pre-sale NOW!!! Y'all know how much I love my BIS planner, even though I had been a staunch Moleskine user before that. I'm so excited about this next, so much space for notes and planning, such a beautiful cover. And, it helps support a beautiful ministry. Get yours before it's too late! (They will ship in June.)

Also, have you seen the beautiful wall hangings that are in the Blessed is She Shop?

//6//

This weekend I had my first piano lesson in almost 5 years. I was a piano major in college, and after graduation I took lessons until I became pregnant with Johnny, so I've had lots of lessons in the past. I've also been teaching piano for the past 10 years, so I'm very used to being in lessons as the teacher. But being the student again was terrifying!! I can tell the challenge is going to be really good for me, and I'm excited to learn some new music. 

//7//

If I may circle back to Easter for a moment. I had found this darling dress on Amazon that I got for Trixie to wear. But when I tried it on her I couldn't get it over her head. This is not the first time this has happened, poor girl. Her head size is off the charts. Thankfully there are free returns. But I realized that Amazon has TONS of cute kids clothes! Like this little number. If you start browsing, don't say I didn't warn you.

//

disclaimer: amazon and blessed is she links are affiliate. when you follow the link and make a purchase I get a small percentage of the sale at no additional cost to you. thanks for supporting this blog! 

Miscarriage and My Holy Week Journey

I wrote this piece for the Blessed is She blog, where it was featured earlier this week. 

I wanted to share it with you here as well, on this Holy Thursday, as we begin to walk with Jesus 

on His road to Calvary. I know that we all carry burdens, and that Holy Week can often make 

them feel more intense than usual. I pray that whatever cross you are carrying, you will look 

to see that Jesus is carrying it with you. And come Sunday morning, I pray you will all 

experience the joy of the life - REAL LIFE - that He brings. 

_________________________________________________________________________

It was Holy Week 2012. I was grieving a child I would never get to hold, and whose face I would never get to see.  Holy Week 2011 I had been pregnant. I carried a secret that only my husband and I knew about. That Holy Week we smiled at each other excitedly throughout the services of the Triduum. Easter Sunday we told family and friends that we were expecting.

And then, only few weeks later, we lost that baby.

The year that ensued was one filled with a lot of doctors appointments, a lot of negative pregnancy tests, and a lot of tears. By the time Holy Week 2012 rolled around we still had no baby in our arms, and the bitterness of infertility was starting to set in.

It seemed like everyone around us was announcing pregnancies and bringing home babies from the hospital. There was baby shower after baby shower. Everyone was happy and excited, and it was killing me.

Lent came to me as a relief that year. I didn’t feel like being happy, and Lent was something that I didn’t have to force a smile for. I could just be sad.

But it turns out the Lord wasn’t  going to just let me wallow, like I had hoped. He is in the business of bringing redemption out of suffering. My Holy week journey would include the road to Calvary, but it would also include the joy of the Empty Tomb.

Survey that wonderful cross.

Stations of the Cross is something most Catholics pray only during Lent, but I think it would do  us a lot of good to pray the Stations many times throughout the year. After all, crosses are not just for Lent. We all deal with them, all the time. They’re heavy, ugly, and painful. But they can also bring us closer to Jesus, if we let them.

No one enjoys suffering, but when I think about my life, it’s been during those times of carrying a heavy cross that I have felt closest to God. That’s because “the Lord is near to the brokenhearted.” (Psalm 34:18)

When life is awesome, we often forget our need for God. But when life rocks us with grief, when suffering has depleted us of our own strength, we are forced to rely on Him, and He gives us the grace we need. “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." (2 Co 12:9)  

When I felt like I couldn’t face another smiling pregnant woman, or endure another person asking me “don’t you want kids?”, when the pain of wanting a baby was so overwhelming, when grief had zapped all of my strength, Jesus was there, pumping grace into my soul. I had to rely on Him because there really wasn’t anything else I could do.

That Holy Week, as Jesus carried His cross to Calvary, I walked with Him, carrying my own cross of infertility. The pain didn’t go away, but there was comfort, knowing Jesus was beside me.

Don’t forget about Mary.

Being a convert, I’ve been a little slow to pick up on Marian devotions. She was one of the things about Catholicism I was most wary of as I went through my catechesis. I believed she was Theotokos, God-bearer, and that she was full of grace, but I had never felt drawn to her for spiritual support, until that Holy Week.

“Jesus Meets His Afflicted Mother.” It’s the fourth station in the Stations of the Cross. After praying it every Friday during Lent it finally hit me, Mary was a grieving mother, just like me. Her child died, just like mine. How she must have suffered, how she must have longed to hold her Son again, just like I longed to hold my baby.

Mary gets me. And what’s more, she is in heaven, praying for me.  

The Litany of the Saints gets real.

Remember when I said that Holy Week is a journey from darkness to light, from grief to joy? Well, it had been a pretty dark year, I had done a lot of grieving, and I was ready for some joy.

And God delivered in a completely unexpected way.

We were about two hours into the Easter Vigil, an amazingly beautiful, and amazingly long liturgy, when it was time to sing the Litany of the Saints, and I was starting to get a little sleepy. I half heard each name as it was chanted, and I in turn chanted the response, “pray for us.” And then we got to St. Anastasia, and I began to weep.

I never named the baby that we lost. My miscarriage was quick, messy, and confusing. I never even saw that baby. There was no way for me to know if it was a boy or a girl. But as I heard the name Anastasia I knew that that was what we should name that baby. And I knew that that soul which I had carried for a such short time was in heaven with all the Saints, before the throne of God, praying for me.

My infertility wasn’t cured that day, and I wasn’t magically given a baby to hold in my arms, but I was reminded that God had used my husband and me to create a new soul. There was joy in the knowledge that I was a mother, and that my baby was in heaven. There is life after death, that’s the promise of Easter.

The journey of Holy Week.

That Holy Week I found so much grace in my cross of infertility. Grace forcing me to rely on Jesus in a way I never had before. Grace opening my eyes to elements of my faith I had not seen before. Grace bringing joy out of suffering.

Darkness to light.

Grief to joy.

Death to life.

This is the journey of Holy Week.  

Why We Started Waking Up Before Our Kids

6:00 am Monday morning the alarm goes off. Alex hits snooze. 9 minutes later the alarm goes off again. This time he slowly rolls out of bed and into some sweatpants. I reluctantly follow, shivering in the dark until I locate my bathrobe. By the time I've made it to the family room Alex is already there with the lamp on, holding two cups of coffee. He passes one to me and we sit down to do something we have been wanting to do since we got married 7 years ago.

We're starting our day in prayer.

I have always known that starting the day in prayer is something I should do. Reading the Word of God and offering your day to Him, first thing in the morning, sets the tone for the rest of the day. Every day of my childhood I witnessed my parents praying together in the morning, and I've seen the fruit of that prayer in their marriage and in our family. This is something I've always wanted to incorporate into my marriage, but we've never been able to make it happen. Until now.

So why now? What's changed in the seven years since our wedding day that we're finally doing this thing that we've always talked about doing?

Well, there have been two big changes. Their names are Johnny and Trixie. We love them and they make our lives so rich and full. But they also make it really hard to have a prayer life.

Before we had kids, if we didn't pray together first thing in the morning it was ok, because we could pray together while we ate breakfast, or we could sit on the porch together after work for some prayer time, or we could pray before bed because we knew we would be getting 7 hours of uninterrupted sleep.

Now, Alex is in the middle of rotations and puts in pretty long days. I teach piano lessons up to and sometimes after dinner. Meals are a whirlwind of trying to get small people to stay in their chairs and eat their food, while scarfing our own food down as fast as possible so that we can pick up this, wipe off that, and carry those up to the bathtub to begin the marathon that is our bedtime routine. By the time both of our children are asleep we barely have the energy to talk to each other, let alone pray or read scripture together.

We realized that we were going the entire day without tending to our marriage and tending to our spiritual lives. We want our marriage to be rooted in Christ, but aside from Sunday Mass we weren't doing a whole lot to make that happen. And since getting out on a date is really hard right now, we were barely even getting time to check in with each other. So now we get up before our kids. That is our time to talk to each other without being interrupted, to discuss the day ahead, we read the scripture readings for the day, and then pray for each other and our children, and commit our day to the Lord.

Photo credit goes to our talented friends Kristen and Jameson

It's not easy getting up this early, but it's also not impossible. Three months ago it would have been nearly impossible, all because of my favorite topic: baby sleep.

Oh, baby sleep. The thing that can make or break a day. The thing that can leave you feeling like a real person, or like an empty shell of a sub-human species. Depending on how much sleep you're getting at night, you may be able to rise before your offspring to catch some quiet time. But if your kids' sleep patterns are like ours, you need every minute of sleep you can get to be able to carry out your duties at home or at work.

Our first child was a terrible sleeper and didn't sleep through the night until he was almost two and I was pregnant with our second. By then the discomfort of pregnancy was setting in, keeping me up with hip pain or sending me to the bathroom every few hours. Then Trixie was born and I was back to nursing a baby all night long. As much as I would have liked having a little quiet time before my kids got up, I knew that in order to be a good mother, I needed every minute of sleep I could get. Prayer time happened in snippets while the kids ate breakfast, or if they happened to nap at the same time. It wasn't ideal, but that was the season I was in.

Now our second is one and a half and sleeping through the night. For the first time in almost four years Alex and I are getting a full night of sleep. Getting up early to pray no longer seems like an impossible feat.

There is one other thing that has helped us get up early. It was a decision to shelf our Chemex  (used to make the fancy pour-over coffee that I love) and go back to our regular electric coffee maker.

I love my Chemex. And I think it is worth the 30 minutes it takes to make a snobbish cup of coffee. But I am not a morning person. If I'm going to get up at 6:00 am, I need a cup of coffee at 6:00 am. My husband loves me a lot, but getting up at 5:30 am to make me some coffee with the Chemex is not something he's willing to do. So we brought the old coffee maker up from the basement and programmed it for 6:00 am.

Now at night we load the dishwasher, pack lunches, and get the coffee ready. And when the alarm goes off the next morning I know that that liquid gold is waiting for me, and I can drag my sorry self out of bed. It sounds silly, but it's what I need! If there's a simple thing, albeit a silly thing, that can help you better your prayer habits, then why not go for it?

It's been two months since we started this routine. Now that I know what it feels like to have that space for prayer in the morning, I can't imagine ever going back. I look forward to the time with just my husband. I know that praying together is strengthening our marriage and making us better spouses and parents. I know that, even though it always hurts to get out of bed, there is grace to be found at that early hour. I always feel better equipped to carry out my duties for the day, when we start the day in prayer.

sweaters, mice, and ladybugs

Trixie walked in to the kitchen yesterday morning carrying a ladybug that she had crushed in her fingers. It took me a moment to realize what it was. Then I had to repress my gagging while I gingerly gathered it into a paper towel and held it at arms length (even though it was dead) while I walked to the trashcan. 

I don't do well with the creepy-crawlies. 

I also don't do well with little furry critters, which is what I found behind the refrigerator later that morning. This one, although squarely caught in the mouse trap, was still alive.  Trixie and I retreated to another part of the house. My approach to the mousetraps in our house is to not approach them. 

But this was either a defective mousetrap or the Superman of mice (Mighty Mouse?), because after a few hours he (she?) was still going strong behind the refrigerator. I knew we couldn't stay out of the kitchen all day. I also knew that Alex wouldn't be home until dinnertime. So I did the adult thing and asked my dad to come over to, ahem, dispatch of him (her?). 

One of the many benefits of living very near my dad's place of work. Thanks Dad! 

So, spring is here! And it's bringing out all of God's creatures, great, small, and very small alike. 

We are even getting out a bit. Sidewalk chalk, trips to the park. It's still pretty brown and ugly outside, so we headed over to our local conservatory to enjoy some greenery and blooms.

I also finished the sweater that I have been working on since October. I usually knit pretty haphazardly, my motto being "close enough." But this was special yarn, (Malabrigo) and I wanted it to turn out great. I was very careful as I worked, trying the sweater on many times throughout the process. And it paid off! I love it, it fits great, and I'm going to wear it as much as I can before it gets too warm. 

The pattern is Caramel by Isabell Kraemer. 

CWBN Recap and Decompression Session

Have you heard me talk about the blogging conference I've been planning with my friends Jacqui and Susanna?

Probably, because we've been planning it since last summer. And it's the only thing I've blogged about in the last two months.

Well, it finally happened! And it was AMAZING!

Jacqui said in her recap post that she couldn't think of one thing that went wrong. Well, I can only think of two: 1. I forgot to wear earrings. And 2. We forgot to put out the orange juice with breakfast.

But other than that. It really did go off without a hitch.

Hey Jacqui!

My day started at 5:15 am when Trixie woke up to nurse. I had set my alarm for 6:00 but decided to just stay up to have plenty of time to get ready and out the door. But I was still running terribly behind, went to the wrong place to pick up a donation, and, as already mentioned, forgot to put out the OJ.

Hey Dirty Mirror!

Through the generosity of my in-laws we were able to hold the conference at their beautiful historic St. Paul home. It was the perfect setting for all 40 of us women to hang out and talk about blogging. I cannot thank them enough for opening up their home to us.

We had three friends helping us out in the kitchen throughout the day. They were amazing and are the only reason I got to actually enjoy the conference myself. If you're reading, you know who you are and I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

 Most of our menu was hand selected from the very best that Costco has to offer. Our lunch was provided courtesy of my dad's business. And our dinner was catered by local restaurant Gardens of Solanica. Super tasty Greek food. Do yourself a favor and get over there for your next girls night/date night/whatever night.

 We had three sessions, some workshop time, and a Q & A panel.

First, Nell talked about blogging basics - what to think about when starting a blog, how to find your niche, utilizing social media, and working with sponsors and other types of revenue sources. It was incredibly informative. The thing that has stayed with me from her talk was the importance of being authentic. Everyone wants to be seen and heard and build their readership and it's easy to think you need to do all the gimmicks and gizmos and be like all the other successful bloggers out there to do that. But really, all you need to do is be yourself and write about what you're passionate about. Authenticity is attractive.

I have found this to be true. When Jacqui and I went to the first Midwest Bloggers Conference in South Bend two years ago my goal was to grow my readership. For a short while I thought I had to get sponsors and post ads and be a "professional blogger" to make that happen. I tried to go that route and really hated how forced it felt. I realized I'd rather write what's on my heart than write something I don't really care about, even if no one reads it and I and never make a dime off this blog. It's been two years of working with that philosophy. And, even though I would still consider mine a small blog, my readership has grown a lot, slowly, and steadily, and authentically.

Next we heard from Laura. Her talk was about developing writing technique, how to edit yourself, how to "try on" another writer's style, read to write more, journal to write more, how to be vulnerable, but still guard your heart. If you read Laura's blog you know that she very openly shares her heart, and it's beautiful. So I was surprised when she said that only about 10 percent of what she writes ends up on her blog. The rest of it no one will ever see, it's between her and God.

Before I started blogging I used to journal. A lot. I have boxes in our attic filled with my old journals. Since I started blogging I haven't felt the need to journal nearly as much. But maybe I should. Maybe if I wrote more I would find I have more to say.

Finally we heard from Haley, who shared her journey from brand new hobby-blogger, to using her blog to help support her family. The main point that I took away was that you don't need permission to be a blogger. You don't need to be invited. If you have a blog, then you're a blogger. It's not a super fancy secret club.

It was so good to hear Haley say that, because sometimes the blogging world does feel like a super fancy secret club. Blogs can get pretty narcissistic pretty quickly.  Sometimes it feels like a competition to see who has the most fabulous life. It's good to remember that we're all just regular people and we're all just looking for meaningful community. And as Haley put it, it's hard to feel like a big deal when your kid has just thrown up on you.

Wise words.

One of my very favorite parts of the day was giving away all the amazing prizes that were contributed for this event. A Lily Jade bag, a Nena & Co bag, and some Kiki Koyote jewelry, were just some of the goodies.

And we all got some great stuff in our swag bags too! Thank you to Hatch Prints, Brass & Mint Co, Mata Traders, Pink Salt Riot, and Magnificat for being part of our day. (See our full list of sponsors here)

 Love my necklace. And I cleaned my mirror!

And of course seeing my Instagram feed materialize before me was truly amazing. What a world we live in that we get to have such fun! Thank you to everyone who came. It was such a special day.

For more conference recaps head over to Jacqui's

7 Reasons You Should Be at the CWBN Midwest Conference

We're planning a blogging conference for Catholic Women Bloggers, and if you're a Catholic woman and you blog, you must be there. If you don't blog, but your interested in blogging, then you should also be there. Also ok if you're a non-Catholic blogger, but you're interested in Catholicism. But you do have to be a lady. NO BOYS ALLOWED! 

I've been planning this conference with some of my friends for the past several months, and now it's finally almost here. One month to go until conference time, and only two weeks left to register. And just in case there's some of you still on the fence about whether or not to attend, I thought I'd give a few really great reasons to be there. 

//1//

Amazing Speakers. Haley Stewart, Laura Kelly Fanucci, and Nell Alt are all super cool bloggers, great writers, and exceptionally wonderful human beings. 

Nell lives just a few miles from my house and has brought me meals more times than I can count. The Fountains of Carrots podcast recently declared her the "cheerleader of the internet" and it's so true. She lifts up everyone she knows, in real life or online. Her talents are vast and varied, from writing to editing to sewing to crunchy living, she does it all and does it well.  She's a great friend to have on your team. 

I have met Laura many times at local blogging gatherings, and Blessed is She gatherings. She is so sweet, incredibly knowledgeable and super fun to hang with. She is a published author and has been one of my favorite writers since before I met her. If you read her blog you know what a beautiful writer she is and you also know how open and fearless she is about sharing what the Lord lays on her heart. I'm inspired every time I read her words. 

I got to meet Haley last fall when she passed through the Twin Cities on her family's epic cross-country road trip, but I've had a friend crush on her long before that. And I'm sure I'm not the only one. Who doesn't love hearing what she and her super-hip farming family are up to? Whether it's geeking out about Anne and Green Gables or Harry Potter, exploring tenets of the faith, or talking about fashion, I'm on board. Haley is a convert to Catholicism, just like me, and I love how accessible her writing about the Catholic Faith is. I have found it so helpful in my own faith life and have no hesitation sharing her posts with those who are not Catholic. 

You guys! This line-up is the bee's knees. 

//2//

Meet other bloggers. It's a very special thing when an online friendship becomes an in-real-life friendship. The first few minutes may be a little awkward, as you come face to face with people you've seen everyday via Instagram, but never in the flesh. You may be surprised by how tall or short people actually are, and what their voices sound like. But all that falls by the wayside quite quickly. You realize you have tons to talk about because you already know so much about each other. Come meet all your friends! And come make some new friends! 

Photo from the last Midwest conference - two years ago! 

If you think one day is not enough time to socialize with all your faves, fear not! There is going to be a Friday night happy hour (as happy as you choose to get during Lent) hosted by the Minnesota contingency for those who are arriving Friday, and a Sunday morning brunch at a local restaurant (pay your own way) for those who don't need to hurry back home. 

//3//

Get some practical help. We will be offering two workshops at our conference. One is a writing workshop. Bring a post you have been working on and get feedback on style, voice, readability, and content from one of our amazing speakers, plus of couple of other ladies in attendance who write professionally.  The other is a blog layout workshop. We will have a couple of computer whizzes in the house to help you figure out specific computer related problems, like making a header for your blog, or social media buttons, or other techy problems you may have. You can participate in one, or both of these workshops, or none if you'd rather just hang out with your new blogging buddies.

//4//

Swag and prizes. I love giving people gifts, so putting together the swag bags for this event has been such a treat for me. When you come to the CWBN Midwest Conference you will get a bag of some special treats and nifty gifties, because we think you're special and that you deserve it. We will also have some special prizes that we will be giving away, and by registering for the conference you are automatically entered to win. All of these are made possible by a growing list of amazing sponsors who have agreed to partner with us. Check them out and show them some love! 

//5//

A shared faith experience. Not only will we be talking about sharing our faith through our blogging, we will be sharing in our faith with one another by going to Mass together. There will also be an opportunity to go to confession. It's true that we are a blogging community, but more than that we are a Catholic community and we seek to build up the faith while we build our blogs. When was the last time you went to Mass along side 30 other women who share your love the the Lord and His church? It's a beautiful experience. 

//6//

Beautiful March weather in St. Paul. This is kind of a joke. St. Paul, while being a greatest city in the world,  is actually kind of brown and ugly in March. But there's still great things to do!! Come see our beautiful Cathedral, drive by F. Scott Fitzgerald's house, go to Uptown for some good Hipster sightings, go to my favorite bar, or my favorite restaurant, check out Garrison Keillor's bookstore, and then walk around the corner to see the bakery where Alex and I met and fell in love. I realize that as a lifelong resident I may be a little biased, but St. Paul really is a great city. 

//7//

Re-energize your blogging. I went to the CWBN Midwest conference that Bonnie and Katrina put together at Notre Dame two years ago. I went mostly because I wanted to meet other bloggers and have a fun weekend. But I was surprised by how much I learned and how much of it I was able to apply to my blogging. 

You may be wanting to turn your blog into a business, grow readership, or maybe improve your writing, or just set some personal goals. Whatever the case may be I am sure that you will acquire a plethora of helpful tips, tricks, and advice.  So what are you waiting for? Come join us!

 

linking up with Kelly for some Quick Takes. 

7 quick takes vol. 31: things I want to remember from now

It's been one of those weeks were everything seems way too long. Winter is long, the days are long, Alex's hours on rotations are long. Nap time, on the other hand, has been far too short, leaving me with tired and crabby kids at the witching hour waiting for Alex to get home, scrambling to get the dinner on the table. Trixie has been sleeping terribly, she's teething, still. She's super clingy during the day. Johnny is pushing all the boundaries that a three and half year old can think to push. And he is starting to assert himself as the older brother and delights in pushing Trixie over, grabbing her toys and making her life hard in general, which makes her even more clingy. Both Alex and I are feeling just plain exhausted, with no opportunity to catch up on rest in sight. 

When I'm exhausted it's easy to go very negative very quickly, leading to pity parties and yelling needlessly. And so at the end of a very exhausting week I've decided to go positive, because even though it's so hard to parent little people, it's also really great. There are so many sweet things that happen everyday and I find myself thinking, "I really want to remember this, the way this feels right now." So here are a few of those things.

//1//

When Trixie nurses she likes to hold my hand. Sometimes she wraps her hand around my thumb, or one of my other fingers. Sometimes I lace her tiny fingers between my big ones. She's getting so big, but compared to my hands, hers are still so small. When she's not holding my hand she's often sticking her hand up the sleeve of my sweeter. That's usual how she falls asleep, with her warm little hand up my sleeve. When it hurts every bone in my body to get up and nurse her in the middle of night feeling her little hand up my sleeve is one small silver lining. 

//2//

There are two times in the day where Johnny and Trixie give each other kisses. One is when Johnny leaves for school in the morning, the other is when they're going to bed. It breaks my heart every time. Sometimes they miss each other and the kisses end up on arms and foreheads and bellies. But sometimes Johnny bends down and Trixie lifts up her chin and they give each other the sweetest little puckered-lip kiss. This is something that I know will not last forever, so I am going to bask in the warmth of their brotherly and sisterly affection as long as I can. 

//3//

Sometimes they are not fighting with each other. Sometimes they are playing nicely together. There's a game they like to play in the kitchen, usually while I'm in there cooking something. Trixie spins around in a circle and Johnny runs circles around her. They think it's hilarious, they giggle and squeal and get dizzy and fall down, and then they start back up again. It's not everyday. But when it does happen it makes me really excited for a couple years from now, when they will be old enough to really understand how to play together. 

//4//

Johnny has been able to go to bed on his own for quite a while now. But he is going through a phase where he likes someone to lay down with him while he falls asleep. And how can we say no, since we know that in the blink of an eye he will want nothing to do with either of us. Mostly he wants me to lay down with him.  "Mama lay down." He says over and over until I'm in his bed. Then he says "glasses off." And I take my glasses off and share his pillow with him. If I try to leave before he falls asleep he pushes my head had back down onto the pillow as hard as he can entreating me with "Mama lay down" a few more times. And then he leaves his hand on my cheek to make sure I don't go anywhere. 

//5//

Trixie is talking so much! Maybe this is normal for a 15 month old girl, but after having a hearing impaired child first, she seems freakish. She mimics Johnny's counting, pointing at things and reciting "'wah, two, wee, wah, ses, sezen, eee, mah,". She knows many different animal names. Doggy, kitty cat, elephant, horsey, and piggy. She has a very cute inflection to her speech right now. All of her words go up and then end, so that everything sounds like a question. "Mama?" "Doggy?" "Poo-poo?" "Apple?" 

//6//

Johnny is really into naming letters. He can identify almost every letter in the alphabet. I'm not sure how he learned this! Probably in part at school. Maybe from watching Super Why? If that's the case that will make me feel less guilty about screen time. We were in the grocery store yesterday and Johnny was either shouting of the names of the foods he saw, or the letters he saw on all the signs. I found myself torn between trying to keep him quiet in a public place, and being a super proud mama.

//7//

As I alluded to before, Johnny has been giving Trixie some grief. The other day Johnny knocked Trixie over by running into her with a Tonka Truck. She was crying and upset and Johnny was sent to his room for a time out.  Even though he beats up on her all day long, Johnny is still Trixie's favorite person. When we put him in time out she just started crying harder and ran over to his door trying to get in. I hope they can always be friends. 

P.S. these are some of our beautiful family photos taken by our good friends at Bast Photography. 

P.P.S. Find more quick takes at This Ain't the Lyceum.